Get Real: Sabrina.

{Sabrina is such a blessing to me!  Every single time we talk, I am amazed at the depth of her genuine heart.  She isn't afraid to be real about her struggles.  That's one of the many reasons I asked her to share her heart with you guys.  She's also ridiculously funny and she makes my heart smile!  It's an honor to share her words with you and I hope she blesses you as she has blessed me.  God bless!}     

Hello!  My name is Sabrina Back.  First, I want to thank Courtney for asking me to write a blog and considering me to do this.  When she asked me, I was nervous but yet excited!  Honestly, I began thinking of a million things I could write that would be "just right".  I racked my brain trying to find the right words but God revealed to me the point of this blog.  GET REAL!!  Honestly, my mind was so caught up in the fact of making this "perfect", that I almost forgot what it required.  The truth, my heart, the REAL me.  So, here we go....My heart to yours!

My mind is a battlefield!  I know you have heard this saying way too many times and I wished it was something I only heard of and didn't struggle with so much, but I fight the demon of my mind everyday, all day!!  When I say fight I mean, my mind and heart plays what feels like to me tug a war.  I replay scenarios, over-think, and analyze every single detail till it almost drives me nuts!

Growing up, I was taught that in every single aspect of your life, you had to analyze and use logic before making any decisions or considering anything.  This way of thinking is what got me through my 25 yrs of life.  I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but spiritually, I'm struggling with the fact that we can't analyze every single thing God tells us to do.  We can't drive ourselves crazy wondering what He is thinking or what He has planned in our future.  We have to realize that it's not meant for us to know the unknown just yet, and to be honest, that is hard for me.

Sometimes I feel guilty for saying that I wholeheartedly trust God, His plans, and the purpose He has for my life when really, my mind won't stop questioning every single detail and the unknown scares me.  On one hand, my heart tells me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of the Lord and He loves me despite my faults and failures.  My heart tells me that He has called me for a plan and a purpose.  That even though my calling may seem "too much" for me, if God is for me, who can be against me?  But on the other hand, my mind questions everything!  It questions my past, present, and definitely future.  Why did God call me?  How am I supposed to trust in His plan for my future when I'm standing still?  WHY AM I STANDING STILL?  These are just a very few of the things that run through my mind daily on top of a million more.

So I ask myself....How can I honestly sit and say that I trust God, if I question every single thing about His will for my life?  If I truly trust Him, would I question to begin with?  How can I honestly serve God with everything I am, wholeheartedly, giving Him my all, if I can't focus on serving God instead of trying to figure out what His plan is?

So, for those of you that experience this same battle, I completely understand how you feel....You are not alone!  A wise lady once told me that half of the battle was recognizing the Devil's tactics.  The Devil uses this weakness to his advantage and sadly, we let him.  The bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7- For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a SOUND MIND.  Let's begin recognizing the Devils tactics.  Let's begin standing on what we know is true which is the Word of God.  Let's become confident in who we are in Christ. 

Let's Defeat the Battlefield of the Mind.  Amen.  :)