11.04.2011

Looove. (Part 1)

My parents met and fell in love when they were relatively 16 years old.  After dating for 2 1/2 years, they married a few months after graduating high school at the relative age of 18.  They struggled financially in their first few years of marriage, but they grew more and more in love through the struggles.  I grew up hearing this story countless times in numerous ways, each one highlighting a specific incident in what I lovingly refer to as their Early Years.  And as a young girl, I always hoped for a love story similar to my parents'. 

I found myself growing up and still harboring deep hopes of living out a love story similar to my mom and dad's.  I secretly hoped that I'd meet Prince Charming when I was 16, we'd last well past high school graduation, and we'd marry when we felt it was God's timing.  So when I fell in love with a boy at the age of 16 who seemed so perfect, all of my dreams were coming true.  He was everything I had wanted and prayed for and even more than I could have ever planned for. 

When the relationship ended, I found myself stunned.  The idea that this guy wasn't the right guy astonished me.  This was supposed to be a replication of my parent's story and in their version, nobody left.  Ever.  I was lost now.  I had no idea what to expect, what to plan for. 

When you have no idea what comes next, that's exactly where God wants you.

I've found that when we have our own ideas of what we want and what we need, we're not flexible enough to allow God to reveal to us what He wants and desires for us.  Even though it hurt like the dickens at the time, I now see that God was looking out for me when He allowed that relationship to end.  Not because that person is horrible, but because it wasn't the right relationship that I could build a lifetime on. 

In the meantime, I'm waiting for the right guy.  But I'm not passively waiting.  God has work for me to do and lessons for me to learn.  I've watched as women have helplessly wallowed in loneliness and fear that they're going to end up alone.  That's not a life I want for myself and because my Father promises life and life more abundantly, I rest assured that it's not an existence He wants for me either.

4 comments:

  1. I completely agree. God doesn't want us sitting around while we're waiting, but working to be who He is making us to be, and only when we are ready will our relationship come. :) I love this post very much! Your words are so encouraging.

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  2. Thank you so much! :] God bless.

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  3. Courtney, you have no idea how much joy it brings me to read this. I was there when you were seemingly head-over-heals for this boy, and I was there when you hit rock bottom with seemingly no way up. You have grown so much in Christ through this valley, and I'm so encouraged by your story! Keep holding on to God, because He knows EXACTLY where you're going. :)

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  4. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Your friendship means a great deal to me and the fact that you have witnessed this journey and have still chosen to stay speaks volumes about God's goodness. You are a blessing!

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