Simple Math.

I didn’t get it.  I didn’t understand.  A beautiful young lady had just been robbed of a future while God continued to tell me to stand still.  Although I was obeying God, I felt I was wasting precious breath, wasting moments that she would never have the chance to occupy.  Never in my life had I been so sure that God had a purpose for me.  Never in my life had I felt so guilty for His decision to keep me alive.  Me, who was doing absolutely nothing but standing completely, painfully still.  It didn’t make sense to me, and, as the rare few who I shared my feelings with can testify, my heart ached for the ability to switch places with her.  I didn’t wish for death, but if she could do more with my time than I was able to, I sincerely wanted to give my time to her. 

I grieved the passing of a friend.  I mourned a life not lived.  And I sat, in tears and silence, and questioned the wisdom and location of my God.  I didn’t speak to Him for days simply because my numb heart couldn’t form words.  When I finally did speak, it was under the shade of a tree during a light rainfall in the middle of a dirt road.  I just threw my words toward Heaven, my thoughts and emotions exploding into a million pieces.  I paced back and forth under that tree, speaking out loud, crying out loud, questioning out loud.  If anyone had heard me, they would have thought I was insane.  But I didn’t care.  God had kept me here for a reason and I wasn’t satisfied just sitting around anymore.  I needed to know that He was still with me, still for me.  That my God would see me through and would lead me into whatever He had for me.

I’m not naïve enough to believe I’m the only who has ever felt that way.  Sometimes life pushes us into situations that cause us to wonder if God is still for us or if we’ve been forgotten.  When it seems like prayers continue to go unanswered, it’s easy to believe that God simply isn’t listening anymore if He even bothered to listen in the first place.  When your life seems stuck in a rut, it’s easy to feel like God doesn’t care about where you are or where you’re headed. 

But Lamentations 3:21 says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.”  That simple sentence, even without the awesome words that follow it, ignites the sweet presence of hope within my heart.  “This I recall to my mind” indicates that when we lose sight of our hope, we have to remind ourselves of Who our God is and how far He has brought us.  When we consciously remind ourselves of what God is capable of, we have hope. 

I walked away from that tree with no answers, but the greatest peace.  My heart still grieved and I still didn’t understand, but I no longer wondered if my Father had left me.  Somehow, some way, He had reassured me that He was with me and that He would reveal everything in His time.  I had been reminded of His presence in my life and a fresh dose of hope arose within my heart.

A lady recently said, “I’ve always known two plus two to equal four.  No matter what trials I go through, no matter if I’m up or down, two plus two always equals four.  I just know it.  God has showed me that He’s always with me, He’s always for me, and He always loves me.  I need to know that just as well as I know two plus two.”  How awesome.

May I encourage you to adopt that same mindset?  When life causes you to question the location or guidance of God, be reminded that He is faithful to never leave or forsake His children.  As long as 2+2=4, God is still in our corner.  I just know it.