The flower on the roof flourished when we smiled, when the heart in my chest loved the heart in his.
But I watched as he left, stepping into independence and out of my life. I watched and I wondered how a person could survive having their heart walk down the sidewalk while their body stood on the porch.
I turned to look at that flower on the roof, expecting to see a traitorous explosion of color. Instead, the flower was dead. Unwilling to accept it, I stared at that flower. Intently. Stubbornly. Faithfully.
When the color returned and the petals opened wide, we would be together again. We would be happy. I merely had to wait for it. And I was willing to.
Until I looked around and realized the season had changed. The flower on the roof wouldn't bloom even if I wanted it to. It simply wasn't the right time.
It broke my heart to think of all of the things I had missed because my gaze, my focus, my entire existence was spent willing something to happen that wasn't meant for that season.
I woke up from that dream and decided that I didn't want to waste my new season. I wanted to look around, to experience my moments instead of missing them.
Can I be honest with you? I know too many young people who are missing entire seasons of their lives because they're willing a flower to bloom that simply isn't in the proper season for blooming.
We can become so focused on our relationship status, like I was focused on that flower in my dream, that we lose essential seasons of our lives. We waste precious time waiting and looking and obsessing. And, y'all, I'm just not convinced that God would be honored, happy, or impressed.
This is what I know to be true:
God can be trusted. With my heart, my life, my time.
And He can be trusted with your heart, your life, and your time as well.
I'm begging you not to lose another season of your life willing a relationship into place when it simply isn't the right season. Trust Him. If for no other reason than the pure fact that He can be trusted.
Become active for God. Get rooted in His Word and in His Church. Fall in love with Him before you ask anyone to fall in love with you. And when the right season rolls around, when a blooming relationship becomes possible, you will be so involved with God and His work that you won't have the opportunity to obsess over it. You'll just take it as the gift it is.
What a beautiful way to live.
What a beautiful way to love.
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